Receive Support from Your Inner Masculine
About a year ago, I had a very life-changing experience. A strong felt sense—a presence—descended upon me. It was a divine masculine energy that entered my consciousness. I felt him so completely. The word that stood out indelibly was unflappable. His stability and strength were absolutely SOLID. And it felt so good to my system. Coming to know him in my inner experience has made an indelible change within me. And I continue to follow the thread of impact this meeting has brought to my life.
Spending this past year getting to know him, I’ve realized that this is my own healthy inner masculine finally coming home to live within me. He is teaching me, changing me, and as I work with him, I cultivate new skills—and he is me. My confidence and ability to face conflict and step more fully into my power have grown. I am taking my life more seriously. A sense of maturity is rippling outward. I’ve learned to step up—or step out—of relationships that were not mutual. I’ve gained focus, strength, and clarity in my boundaries and self-loving choices. I now know I can accomplish far more than I ever thought possible, regardless of whether I have a partner or not, because I have support.
I have noticed a trend lately, where those whom I have seen following a new age spirituality path/personal growth path have turned towards Christianity and Jesus. One of my postulations is that they are intuitively feeling the call and need for a strong, healed, wise, and unconditionally masculine in their lives often due to the lack of healthy masculine archetypes in our collective and personal stories and experiences. We have sought for politicians to lead, protect, and create structures and we have seen how that power we have given away have been used to abuse us and we are seeking to spiritually mature and cultivate inner leadership and greater personal responsibility within and without. I see this the natural evolution we find ourselves on.
We are taught as women to search for our knight in shining armor and be alluring to him—someone who will provide, protect, even save us. I certainly never learned directly about developing my own inner masculine—king, lover, father archetypes—within. In many ways, I was encouraged to do the opposite, unconsciously repeating co-dependent relationship patterns because that’s what women in my lineage had always done. We cannot blame ourselves for what we didn’t know—until it becomes conscious. This is part of a naturally occurring maturation process where our inner masculine teach us about accountability and responsibility—both in men and women.
Carl Jung spoke of the woman’s animus—her internal masculine—and the male equivalent, the anima, his inner feminine. We begin to develop our animus as women by watching our fathers, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, teachers, and neighbors. This is how we learn about the masculine in early life. These imprints set our templates. How men treat us, our mothers, and our siblings teaches us about who the masculine is, both within and without. How he approaches money, work, and routine is internalized subconsciously by us. We look up to him—and when he doesn’t show up, we internalize that too. We develop our romantic inclinations and attractions based on these cues as well.
If we see men disempowered, shamed, or collapsed emotionally or physically, this is what we will expect from the masculine. It surprises me how seldom we step back and look at the big picture of our lives and the impressions we absorbed from those early experiences. We wonder why we struggle in relationships, and yet we were often modeled versions that ended in disappointment.
Making these patterns conscious allows us to choose a healthier path moving forward. When we’ve spent a lifetime without certain limits and boundaries, it can be hard to realize how sorely we are lacking them. We may be so used to chaos that we think we like it—or even think it serves us. We may never have known the value of routine, planning, timing, and responsibility.
Some questions related to the state of our inner masculine is:
Am I thoughtful, wise, and trustworthy in my communication?
Do I follow through on what I say? Do I show up on time?
Am I responsible, ethical, and reliable with money?
Am I respected and aligned to a path of purpose in my career?
How grounded and logical, patient and present am I?
Do I have a good plan that is providing and protecting safety and security for myself and those I love?
It is essential that our inner children feel loved, supported, and protected by our inner adult parents. So having a wise, kind, and protective inner father will change your life. This process of reuniting and developing these parts of ourselves requires consciousness, curiosity, and creativity. And I would be as daring as to say that all war and conflict in the world is rooted in unhealed inner children. So I see very few things more important than developing this inner relationship with ones self.
If you don’t yet have a concept of an inner masculine, I encourage you to begin a dialogue. Envision a loving, supportive, and wise male being. What qualities do you see? Trust what comes to mind first. You might even see him. What does he look like? What’s the look in his eyes? What does it feel like in your body to be in his presence? Let yourself soak that in. Perhaps there’s something you’d like to ask him. Maybe he has advice for you. Ask yourself where you could use support in your life right now. If it’s easier, you can write—dialoguing on paper. Share with him vulnerably and openly. Allow yourself to receive unconditional love from him. Having a guide in such a journey brings a visceral experience of this meeting that is deeply felt and powerfully embodied. If you wish to receive support in this work, I would love to get on a free consult call with you to feel into whether we’d be a good fit to work together.